


Hesitation

by Truetomorrow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Mentions of masurbation, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:59:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8483323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Truetomorrow/pseuds/Truetomorrow
Summary: Blaise has been very obvious with his intentions, Hermione is hesitant.





	

Blaise's eyes glow in the haphazard light of the crowded room, and Hermione watches the moon-like glimmer. Hermione can't even pretend confusion as to his intent—he has made that amply clear at every meeting. So far, it has been simple enough to say no, although she can't pretend it is because she is uninterested. Soon, she fears, he will request a reason for the denial—and how could she tell him? 

He wants her, she wants him: in basic terms, in basic logic, it makes no sense why she holds herself back. The fact that she's never slept with a man doesn't give her pause—and she's seen the way Zabini's eyes darken at that thought whenher friends tease her. She doesn't think either of them are in love, or have unrealistic ideas about their relationship, whether that included sex or not... And yet she still resists his every overture. 

She has become ever more proficient in taking care of things herself, but no matter how relaxed she feels, safe in her bed and sighing in afterglow, all it takes is one look from those dark eyes and Hermione's heart speeds up. She is afraid—but whether of becoming dependent on the pleasure he could bring, or... But the other option is too awful. Maybe she is frigid. Even thinking that thought chills her blood. It is irrational, she knows perfectly well how responsive her body can be, and how much pleasure even one finger can bring, when used the right way. But she is afraid of him. Afraid of disappointing him. 

Over-achiever that she always has been, she fears she could never live up to his expectations. Yet it is his face she sees when she comes at night, hand flying over her clit. Some day, she will have to deal with this—this is no boggart in an examination that she can spell away. 

She sees him watching her, and she makes herself look away.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this before I learned what asexuality was. It was a bit of a way of working through stuff and, while Hermione wasn't necessarily written as ace, reading it over now, I see that there are a bunch of similarities


End file.
